she (Word) (unfinished)

Church
Church
The whole world playing church
Majoring in the minor
Seeing with the eyes of men
All we do is act religion (Church)

She was clingy, I was the repellent
I believed in love stories but did not like the direction this was headed
Head to toe she was average to human eyes
She was plain ordinary and would not let go
Your looks were so ordinary to the eyes
And the desperation of those attempts to entice me into your presence was real
I often catch the stolen glances thrown in my direction
But refuse to hold on to them
Those angel eyes I seek is in stark contrast
To what you hold with no sparkle in them
I marvel at your comical advances
Yet shield myself from anything aimed at me
Over and over I look you over
But what I smell under my nose is desperation
It irks me the confidence she carries
That one day we will dwell together
I get irritated at her assured calm despite seeing the
‘No Trespass Zone’
Tattooed boldly on my forehead
I visualize Rachel
But all I see parked in front of me
Is an unmovable, unshakable Leah
Exactly what do you see in me
That makes you bathe in such a relentless flow of rejection and still feel fresh?
Obsessed
Her shameless refusal to let go has me cursing in public
Words
Then she said to me:
“Delight yourself in me and I will give you the desires of your heart”
Perplexed
I ask for an explanation to her cryptic words
Doubt
She appraises me with her now soft eyes and whispers:
“Only believe”
Crazy
That is the conclusion I grant myself
Insane
That is the verdict of the jury
Thinking Out Loud
She runs my mind now and I am walking around constantly thinking of her words
Battle
I fight my thoughts repeatedly but always lose to a unanimous decision
Curious
I assure myself all I want is to quench this thirst.

She is walking in the public park…..
I take a step forward then hold myself back (cont’d)

Beyond life

Emptiness. A hollow frame
Shame. A naked man
Bare. A plain canvas
From ashes to ashes
And dust to dust
That is the shadow of a man
And it is the ground he walks upon
Cursed is the ground because you reign
You pay each man’s wages for their work
They toil under the sun and wither away
They slave in the rain and are washed away
Some obeyed your decrees and were rewarded
Others rebelled in your kingdom and got punished
But your reward and punishment is one
In the end
Tomorrow is not promised here
And even though they fight
Even though they accept your rule
All men are accused to the ground
That is his constant
That is the only certainty of his life
You are their end
Capturing thoughts and torturing hearts
You are their beginning
Men have been programmed to love the darkness
Their minds are inked to a primeval source of information
In the beginning
Darkness was all over the face of the deep
Sin reigned and death ruled
For all had sinned
And the sting of sin is death
But as it was
Light was called from the darkness
And what was once shapeless had form
The empty became full
As it was in the garden
I sought after the other tree and took a bite from its fruit
Behold I see light
I lift up my eyes and see mountains moving
And lilies dressed in splendour along the valleys
I look to the skies and see multiple rainbows
With rays of sunlight shooting through the clouds
O what a sight to behold
O what glory!
Endless love flowing constantly like rivers of living waters
By the rivers of Babylon I lay down in green pastures
The calmness of my surroundings restores my soul
From victory unto victory
Glory to glory
Rejoice
For I am free.
Once I lived in the land of men
They say nobody knows tomorrow
And every word that came from our lips was controlled
Our minds were subject to death
Our hearts was a den of emotions
In the land of men the flesh rules
I once lived in the land of men
Here we speak what we see
And we are moved by what we see
We were sons of circumstances
Yielding our lives to the control of the material
In the land of men we had one language and a common speech
What if I don’t make it in life?
I’m afraid of what others would think of me
All this thinking and writing is making me stressed
I have a headache
After all we are not perfect. Sometimes we will fall.
In the land of men we exchanged our souls for dust
In the land of men the information given us was fear
Here we learned to fail.
Now I find myself in another realm
And I see transparent looking men
They look like men but their ways are different
Every word from their lips is life
In their mouths are swords
They send their words to do what they say
Their minds fixed on God
And their hearts are pregnant with the word of God
Here the spirit lives
They speak what they want to see
And it is so.
I am writing this to inform you that I have found my home.
In the kingdom of God, Christ is our salvation
And all things are possible
All we do is believe and speak.
We all carry the kingdom in our hearts
Open your hearts and see
Fear not, only believe.

Culture

I had a dream I was in heaven. Took it as a sign from God that I am touched.
Suddenly I wake up to the heat of this world. Hell, I’m back to reality.
Basqiuat painting the Mona Lisa, I’m Stephen King writing a Ludlum novel.
When dream meets reality and reality is a contradiction. What becomes of the dream?
The Lord is my shepherd I shall not want.
The Lord is my rock and my foundation whom should I fear?
And yet I fear it all.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I fear all evil.
I fear life, death, success, failure, riches, poverty, love, hate….
I fear it all.
So what happens when dream meets reality and reality is fear?
Do you keep on dreaming or wake up and accept what you see?
Who is your god and what drives you on?
Who do you talk to when you pray?
Why go down on your knees to pray when you know you can’t speak right?
The Lord is my shepherd
Words I speak; songs I sing.
Just words with no strings attached.
My shoulders are slumped from the weight of my yoke.
Life is burdensome. Life is heavy.
I’m tired and in need of rest so I stop on the way to sleep on my problems.
I wake up alive with fear, clothed in anger.
Angry at all, and yet anxious for everything.
Moved by what I see, yet everything is negative.
Life is shrouded under a cloud of fear, raining worry and pessimism each day.
Da Vinci trapped in a Picasso
I’m Herod the great teaching the gospel.
My potential rendered impotent
She told me I was different, a king destined to rule.
I believed and put my trust in her words.
Sleeping at night, he came to steal this dream, to kill her and destroy my home.
I wake up to find my mother gone; her words follow her to the grave.
Now I sit on a throne of self-pity with no subjects to rule.
I sit on a throne of self-pity, wearing a crown of worry and constantly drinking doubt from my golden chalice.
I used to dream I was in heaven, now I have vivid nightmares in the belly of the beast.
Nightmares that have become reality.
Nightmares that do not go away.
So I pray to God to show his face.
I pray to God to show his face.

Touch

I sought after the shape of life to no avail.
I find a house in the desert.
Thirsty. I knock to find the place deserted.
Round and round we go. Driving in circles.
Walking in straight lines.
All around, relationships are springing up like wells.
Her life is a constant drought.
Our fountain of youth is running out.
Winter of life sniffs around. Trying to find an opening.
Windows is shutting down, doors locked tight.
Everything is without form and void.
Loneliness moves over the face of darkness.
On your mark! Light is near.
No. Scratch that.
Apologies for almost veering wide of the mark.
This is not the creation story
Where I end with how man disobeyed and took a bite from an apple.
Life is slowly passing her by, faith becometh impatience.
Touch. I remember touch.
Pictures came with touch.
A girl looking for love. Tell me what you see.
Kiss. Suddenly alive. A physical delight.
The world is based on physicality with love a great lie.
Come. Enjoy food and feed your flesh.
The way and the truth.
Alas. The light has finally arrived.
<<<<< let’s rewind.
On your mark! Light is near.
Now scratch scratch that.
Let there be light!
Touch. Tell me what you see.
Lust is the way and the truth.
The light shining in her world cannot be dimmed.
A creature of contact to satisfy your soul.

CARPE DIEM

The cock crows 3 times, I wake up aged 24.
Another day and the hustle and bustle that comes with.
You know it’s a miracle when you make it out of bed, take time to thank He who made it possible for you to be alive.
I’m physically fit, mentally sound. Thank you God for I’m a blessing.


The school dropout.I pray to Jesus for enlightenment.

Now, I hope my development in this environment is a testament that the Omnipotent’s covenant in my life still stands. Yes, I’m a descendant of Abraham, Old Testament. A lieutenant of Christ. The New Testament.
I’m quite fluent in the Gospels, an exponent of the good news, but speak just a fragment of it’s language. Why?
Entanglement of the world’s pleasures holding a guy back. Pardon me, for the components of these worldly enjoyments far too pleasing for me to pass by.
Imprisonment. That’s the state I’m at this moment in my life. I look to God for imminent release from the clutches of this life. I’m a walking contradiction.


When I was 12, in Sunday school, I yearned to be Solomon. Asked God for his wisdom and splendor.
Wisdom and money can get you almost anything, but only wisdom can save your soul.
In my quest to be King David’s son, I study his works. Then comes Ecclesiastes.
The first word I meet on my journey is ‘meaningless’. I confess, after my incipient viewing, the zest I had for life was somewhat suppressed. Each painful page got the kid distressed and depressed.
After a few more chapters, I quit reading altogether. This book was making me stressed; man needed some rest. Hence I digressed to something else.
Nonetheless, I dressed up and came back to the teacher’s class, Bible on my desk. I press myself to find meaning to the meaningless.
Alas! The boy finds his ‘Perez’ in the last chapter of Solomon’s address.
Without God, life is meaningless, bottomless and aimless. Like chasing the wind.
That is the underlying message of the book.


Life is good; Life is crude.
Life is simple; Life is complex.
Life is a jungle; Life is serene.
What I’m doing? I’m saying that life is a paradox.


I cried when I failed, laugh more as I succeed. I’ve been beaten and broken, fed and taken cared for. My life is sweet but my cross sure is heavy.
This is not a story about how I would tell you that I’ve found the prognosis and antidote to your problems. This is not a song about how I promise that all your life’s grievances will be cleared up after you listen to it.

No.


This is a note to tell you that there will be tears, but also there will be joy. You will have friends and you will have enemies. You will fail but you shall succeed.

This is to let you know that life will cheer you up and beat you down to be trampled on.
How fast will you get back up?


Special shout outs to the happy,
And much love goes to the weary and burdened. Hang in there, for this I can promise, you will laugh again.

Seize the day!

Ecclesiastes (Bondage)

Meaningless meaningless, everything is meaningless!
Gethsemane: the spirit is willing, the body weak.
Mentally enslaved, in a state of calvary.
Married to conformity, till death do us part.
The crowd, O this crowd of Gethsemane.
We have all eaten from the fruit and are loose, Old Testament.
We know no sin.
Everything is permissible, everything is beneficial.
We on a mission for all things material.
Life’s a zoo, life’s a ruckus. Only the strong survive.
This is the fast life, we are on a crush course.
I’ve abandoned all the teachings of mother.
Mother Ghana taught me humility, I showed my ego is more than all her children.
She warned me of going through those big, wide gates to seek the fruit.
Encouraged me rather to memorize the sixth chapter from the book of Matthew.
“Let me rectify my eyesight then I’ll seek the kingdom”, were my last words to her.
I long for her touch, it’s been that long, don’t even remember what she looks like.
I’ve lost myself, don’t know who I am.
Life has become a bottomless pit, never satisfied.
I’m after the money, I need power, give me all the glory.
My Beautiful Tragedy!
In my quest for all I decide to visit an Uncle.
Old money.
Hoping to learn a thing or two from him.
Uncle Sam doesn’t recognize me, awkward.
Always busy, too many kids, he isn’t looking my way.
The world is closing down on me, claustrophobic.
Jim Crow – Uncle’s aging son dying of cancer – absolutely loathes me.
If looks could kill….
Jim makes it clear there’s no place for me in Uncle Sam’s home.
I’ve had enough, I decide to leave, where to go?
Gethsemane driving me weary, surely my accident approaches.
I’ve become a nomad.
I have a dream, I see Mother Ghana.
She says to leave this place and never look back.
Fire is coming, too much sinning.
“Where do I go Mother?”
“Look for the place known as Golgotha”.

Ecclesiastes (Your Journey)

“Don’t let the excitement of youth cause you to forget your creator. Honor Him in your youth before you grow old and say, “Life is not pleasant anymore”(Ecc. 12:1).

How much is your life worth? Is it worth living or is it worth dying for?
All around you everything seems normal. You wake up seeing but not feeling, with the only thing you’re remotely thankful for being your existence. A life of mistakes, regrets and a fading hope. Surely once your candle of hope is snuffed out then what’s the use to living. Like Midas everything you touch changes. Unlike Midas it doesn’t turn to gold. What else is there to do but go through the routines of this numb state. Birds chirping, trees growing, cars honking each other. All around you everything seems normal till you touch something.
Evil Midas!
Your apathy towards the world seems higher than the proposed tower of Babel, you are stuck in the game of life and have already used two lifelines. You phoned your friend, he couldn’t help, time ran out. The audience(world) all gave conflicting answers which confused you the more. What’s your next option? You know your next move but what’s stopping you from using it? You don’t think you have the verve to last the whole race. What if you stumble? Better yet what if you fall but then again what if you fl… Ok so you say you can’t fly. Will He accept you back? You think He’ll get tired of welcoming you back. Scared of fear. You coward!
How similar are you to the seeds that fell among the thorns. The world controls you, trapped in vanity. Institutionalized by money, fame, power, women and drugs. Everyday is a party, each night at the club. You claim to be Christian and truly believe what you say.
You think church is enough but you wasn’t even listening to the sermon. Your mind is wondering, your mind is fishing, your eyes be scanning for fresh meat. How can you fish for meat at church? Your ignorance isn’t bliss, your ignorance is grief. In your mind you are the king, in reality a slave. Mind games I guess. Sin is your guide, the devil your usher. Burn! Hell, that’s the path you’re headed. You think the sun scorches? Just wait.
But now everything seems to be crumbling down and it’s all becoming too much for you, depression knocks on your door, the load she brings is too much for your shoulders. Your blissful ignorance has turned into gloomy reality. Self realization is upon you and you are 6ft under: emotionally.
What’s your life really worth? Is it worth living or is it worth dying for? Life to you has become meaningless so you shun the world and wallow in sorrow. In exiling yourself from all, you see a glimpse of Him approaching your home but that same fear keeps you from inviting Him in. What’s your greatest fear?

“That’s the whole story. Here now is my final conclusion: Fear God and obey his commands, for this is everyone’s duty” (Ecc. 12:13).

Dreams, Visions, Aspirations

I woke up this morning forgetting what I dreamt of last night. But this is not a story about my night fantasies.
We all have our dreams, not our songs to sing unfortunately. Ever question what brought about your dream? Could it be based on fear since most our ambitions are anti failure related. But then again who wants to be a failure? How do we determine failure of others if we all are different in what we bring to the table of life? I guess only God could judge us huh? Ah…well I think u got me, who am I fooling here. We become numb to our thoughts of dreams…are we sure we could achieve what we dream to be or are we just dreaming cos everybody should dream? We wake up, put on our clothes and get on living our lives.

Do we chase our visions with each passing day or we just go along with the status quo. Dreamt of being a marine engineer when I was a kid cos that was my dad’s profession and I looked up to him. Fast forward 15 years and my aspirations have completely shifted to being peaceful in life. Don’t judge me in those courtroom brains of yours where you sit high and mighty in your judgement seats with no jury to rule but yourselves. I guess growing up and seeing things influenced my change of dream. So after your hopes become reality wats next for you? How do we juggle success and all the baggage that comes with it? Or are we not even thinking that far? Feeling like jigga right now…this is some visionary ish. Asked mom what her dreams were as a kid and she said she couldn’t really remember them. Hmm..strange…so what changed? Ain’t that why we came here?….if not why do we bother.

Dreams are often juxtaposed to wishful thinking which are usually just as attainable as meeting a mirage..but some do achieve their dreams. Jesus Christ came to the world with a dream that through him we may be closer to the Father than never before. God created the world with a dream that man and God may live in close relationship..then man ate from the forbidden fruit and got loose, thus the son of man’s incarnate form on earth to rewrite man’s wrongs. At the end of it all Jesus achieved his hope. What message am I putting across to us? I dunno…well you be the judge of that. May the best of our today’s be the worst of our tomorrow’s. Let’s think that far.

THE PRESSURES OF MAKING IT

It’s Wednesday May 7 2014 in Accra, Ghana and aside from the fact that my five week beard is taking shape, nothing really exciting is happening at the moment for me. Ok so this is supposed to be my last semester in the university and with examinations well under way I will be a graduate by the end of the month barring any hiccups. Now I know most people whom I know would line up congratulatory messages and talk about how time has flown from when I was a kid up until now.
But I think with age comes a new set of responsibility which I’m not too sure I’m ready for. I don’t know but I’ve been kind of dreading the moment when I complete the university because it is during that time that you really start to build your life. The reason for my fear is because up until now I do not know what direction I’m headed with my life. I am not sure but I feel like somewhere somehow something should click in me to point me in the right direction. But up until now it’s the same situation. I am from a very ambitious family, with my parents training us from a young age to work hard and reap the full benefits of nature’s rewards.
I quite remember my grandmother’s funeral (May her soul rest in peace) in the year 2006 mainly because of my dad’s speech during the funeral service. While everyone came to the podium talking about the great life she lived, my dad’s speech was one that I cherish and will forever treasure. This man tuned his eulogy to a lecture about life in a different dimension. He shaped his message from Jesus’ parable of the talents from Matthew 25:14-28. It’s a long verse which I cannot recite here but basically Jesus talks about how life should be lived and how everybody is entitled to fulfil their potential in this world. He ends the parable by saying: “For everyone who has will be given more, and will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him.” At the end of the day we will be judged by how well we put our abilities to use when we lived on earth. And that is the problem for me; fear of not reaching my true potential in this world.
I envy my siblings (the good kind of envy, if there is something of the sort) because it seems they really know which direction their life is headed. The pressure is enormous to succeed. But then again what is success? I was watching a talk on TED.com given by a former Basketball coach (Coach John Wooden) about the difference between winning and succeeding.
He talks about success saying: “I thought about that for quite a spell, and I wanted to come up with my own definition. I thought that might help. And I knew how Mr. Webster defined it: the accumulation of material possessions or the attainment of a position of power or prestige, or something of that sort – worthy accomplishments perhaps, but in my opinion not necessarily indicative of success. So I wanted to come up with something of my own.”
He further quotes a verse which influenced him “At God’s footstool to confess, a poor soul knelt, and bowed his head. ‘I failed!’ he cried. The Master said, ‘Thou didst thy best, that is success.”
So he says “I coin my definition of success, which is: peace of mind attained only through self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to do the best of which you’re capable. I believe that’s true. If you make the best of which you’re capable, to try and improve the situation that exists for you, I think that’s success.”
Growing up as kids most of us are taught with the Mr. Webster definition of success which tends to put pressure on us to make it no matter what without really enjoying the gift that is life. My father for instance, grew up in the village being raised by a single mother of 9 children and made his way to the top (or is still making his way). This rise from rags to riches makes him a little bias in his way of thinking sometimes. To him to make it in life means to work hard and reap the fruits of your labour. Don’t get me wrong I actually think he is right somewhat. But in an environment where we are being trained to go to school, learn hard, gain a degree and work for a good company with a profitable salary to match, Coach John Wooden’s version of success is not seriously considered.
This is what got me thinking lately, I really do not wish to follow this safe trend taken by most but rather live my life as best as I could. Before going to the university, my parents kind of told all of us which road they expected us to take in life, and I know most kids have the same done for them too without being able to do what they are really passionate about. Besides I think life has too many variables for everything we plan to turn out perfectly which is the reason for many mid-life crises issues because when the safe path doesn’t work out we rue the fact that we couldn’t follow our dreams.
But as I stated earlier I really intend to follow my calling in this life and leave my mark, but the problem is how? How do you tell your parents, how do you convince them? I don’t know but somehow I would have to do it. Maybe I’ll just send them a link to my blog to read this post.