she (Word) (unfinished)

Church
Church
The whole world playing church
Majoring in the minor
Seeing with the eyes of men
All we do is act religion (Church)

She was clingy, I was the repellent
I believed in love stories but did not like the direction this was headed
Head to toe she was average to human eyes
She was plain ordinary and would not let go
Your looks were so ordinary to the eyes
And the desperation of those attempts to entice me into your presence was real
I often catch the stolen glances thrown in my direction
But refuse to hold on to them
Those angel eyes I seek is in stark contrast
To what you hold with no sparkle in them
I marvel at your comical advances
Yet shield myself from anything aimed at me
Over and over I look you over
But what I smell under my nose is desperation
It irks me the confidence she carries
That one day we will dwell together
I get irritated at her assured calm despite seeing the
‘No Trespass Zone’
Tattooed boldly on my forehead
I visualize Rachel
But all I see parked in front of me
Is an unmovable, unshakable Leah
Exactly what do you see in me
That makes you bathe in such a relentless flow of rejection and still feel fresh?
Obsessed
Her shameless refusal to let go has me cursing in public
Words
Then she said to me:
“Delight yourself in me and I will give you the desires of your heart”
Perplexed
I ask for an explanation to her cryptic words
Doubt
She appraises me with her now soft eyes and whispers:
“Only believe”
Crazy
That is the conclusion I grant myself
Insane
That is the verdict of the jury
Thinking Out Loud
She runs my mind now and I am walking around constantly thinking of her words
Battle
I fight my thoughts repeatedly but always lose to a unanimous decision
Curious
I assure myself all I want is to quench this thirst.

She is walking in the public park…..
I take a step forward then hold myself back (cont’d)

The lust of the flesh, Life can be better

Now that I’m the life of the party, I rule the world and everything in it                                      The born sinner
The once upon a time saint
The Sundays are for Christ but other days for the world guy
I am a part of the seed that fell among the thorns
My life is in a frequency of earthly desires
So I surround myself with everything bright and colorful
You live in standard definition
I’m talking high definition
Better grab yourself an LCD screen and come join us
Ask me what my purpose in life is and I’ll tell you to mind your own business
While I tune my mind to the record in the background and dance along with the crowd
My conscience prompts me to do right but everyone is turning left
This world is my natural habitat and
I’ve developed uncontrollable habits
How do I make the right decisions
In the heat of the moment?

It’s the biggest orgy in town and the entourage have come prepared
With a little bit of everything ranging from pills to potions
It’s our hope that you’re ready for some drama tonight because life is short
And you only live once
Welcome to the good life
Party is at the climax with the speakers in full vibration
Causing the ground to tremor with what we call good music
I look straight ahead and fix my eyes on this glorious looking creature
Standing all alone in the corner
Our eyes meet and she motions for me to come over
She puts her arms around me and with a brazen look she says:
“You’re the one I am looking for”
Seduced by her pretty speech and enticed by her flattery
She leads me to the dance floor
Like an Ox going to the slaughter
Like a bird flying into a snare
I was caught like a stag caught in a trap
Awaiting the arrow that would pierce my heart
My pelvis is screwed tight to her rump
Hands lingering all over this voluptuous daughter of Jezebel
I close my eyes to allow for the ecstasy to run through my whole being
Our bodies are in sync and we’ve become one
Magnetized by the perfume of sexuality emanating from each other
Aroused by the touch of a woman she’s Delilah and you could call me Samson
For I would gladly spill my secrets without her asking
She leans in and whispers in my ear
“My bed is spread with beautiful blankets
Come let’s enjoy each other’s caresses”
This is the heat of the moment and I’m suddenly on heat
For reasoning has been overthrown by the introduction of lust
I’m governed by my senses now
they are ravenous
It’s twilight, she’s the vampire and I’m prepared to let her take a bite
I’m thinking about that sex
Thinking about her breasts
Or maybe kissing on her neck
Or maybe what positions next
The lust in me cannot hold and
I will explode with passion
I wake up at the wrong side of the bed to realize I’m late
My Sundays are synonymous to church
I rush out and promise to come back the next day
Beautiful death!

Imagine a little boy who enjoys story books
He enjoys them because the stories are very short
Very bright pictures, few words, lots of color
He sees his father read a book it has no pictures, it isn’t short
In fact it’s very long, smaller font sizes very opposite his book
He looks at his book and his father’s book
To him his is more exciting than what his dad is reading
And he doesn’t understand how a person can enjoy
Such a long and boring book
No pictures, the story is too long, too many pages
But what he fails to understand is that
What he enjoys is just a fragment of what his dad is enjoying
For in truth what he relishes
Is just the simplified form if what his dad is enjoying
We go through life thinking life is short, have fun, it’s colorful
The true life isn’t short, colorful, dancing, jumping
There’s a better life of righteousness
And if we walk in that righteousness
We wouldn’t go back to the other life of
Simplicity, jumping about and thinking we’re having the good life.                                       What say you?

Eyram’s Song (Unfinished)

I hear muffled sounds of a cry nearby, abruptly I awake to see a silhouette in the corner of the room, the lights are out, it’s pitch black, I try squinting, nothing, but the cries continue to ring across the room like a doorbell, surely I’m still dreaming so I pinch myself to wake up….OUCH!!
The figure is still there, crying, saying something I can’t quite make out.
“Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil…”, I continue to recite this Psalm with fear and trembling.
O Lord, the shadow is moving towards me and I feel my heart pound like Rihanna’s fifth studio album.
Loud.
I squeeze my eyes shut and hold my breath and grind my teeth in anticipation, suddenly my bed acknowledges the added weight on it by creaking.
My heart!! I can’t…body goes numb, waiting for the end to come but somewhere In between the now intense sobs, I hear the words “Next time don’t feel anything, don’t let your emotions show”, curiosity gets the better of fear and I take a peep at the figure sitting on my bed with its face between the knees.
A damsel in distress.

Blessing
Call her Blessing.
She is a wallflower, put in solitary confinement for false accusations.
There’s no place like home, but to her no place felt like home.
Daddy says “You used to be a happy person, very lively, what’s changed?”
No emotions.
She had no bond with anyone at home except her brother, Love.
Love was easy to relate to, patient and kind, so she would confide in him and he would listen.
She needs someone.
Her parents have been real busy trying to make it so she lacks nothing in life so there’s no real bond between her folks and her.
Then she found the way.
What a friend she had in Jesus!!!
Grew more beautiful in each day with Him.
They would talk and take long walks from Eden through to Everest.
Her life is at the apex.
She does not want, for He is her chauffeur, does not lack, for He is her provider and she fears not, for He is her strength.
Their love grew more blissful each day, He proposed and she accepted.
Gave birth to a whole lot of souls during their honeymoon in the lovely picturesque fishing village of Nineveh.
Somewhere along the line she was robbed by the thief.
He came to kill and destroy her home, but Jesus sacrificed himself for her in the process.
Grief.
She doesn’t know He is with her…for her tears have blinded her sight so she packed up her things and set off.
Wandering the world on her own.

Ecclesiastes (Bondage)

Meaningless meaningless, everything is meaningless!
Gethsemane: the spirit is willing, the body weak.
Mentally enslaved, in a state of calvary.
Married to conformity, till death do us part.
The crowd, O this crowd of Gethsemane.
We have all eaten from the fruit and are loose, Old Testament.
We know no sin.
Everything is permissible, everything is beneficial.
We on a mission for all things material.
Life’s a zoo, life’s a ruckus. Only the strong survive.
This is the fast life, we are on a crush course.
I’ve abandoned all the teachings of mother.
Mother Ghana taught me humility, I showed my ego is more than all her children.
She warned me of going through those big, wide gates to seek the fruit.
Encouraged me rather to memorize the sixth chapter from the book of Matthew.
“Let me rectify my eyesight then I’ll seek the kingdom”, were my last words to her.
I long for her touch, it’s been that long, don’t even remember what she looks like.
I’ve lost myself, don’t know who I am.
Life has become a bottomless pit, never satisfied.
I’m after the money, I need power, give me all the glory.
My Beautiful Tragedy!
In my quest for all I decide to visit an Uncle.
Old money.
Hoping to learn a thing or two from him.
Uncle Sam doesn’t recognize me, awkward.
Always busy, too many kids, he isn’t looking my way.
The world is closing down on me, claustrophobic.
Jim Crow – Uncle’s aging son dying of cancer – absolutely loathes me.
If looks could kill….
Jim makes it clear there’s no place for me in Uncle Sam’s home.
I’ve had enough, I decide to leave, where to go?
Gethsemane driving me weary, surely my accident approaches.
I’ve become a nomad.
I have a dream, I see Mother Ghana.
She says to leave this place and never look back.
Fire is coming, too much sinning.
“Where do I go Mother?”
“Look for the place known as Golgotha”.

Ecclesiastes (Optical Grove)

Pardon my hiatus for me and my thoughts have tried to continue forming words.
Anytime I hold the pen, zilch.
Writers block they say, but this block heavy.
Feels like a millstone tied against my neck, dropped in the deepest part of the pacific.
I am under, drowning.
Creativity deserts me, my brain a desert.
Usually the pen is my oasis of calm in these times.
Not this time.
I hunger to write but how to feed this desire.
My mind is in a jam, It’s rush hour.
I need to park and reevaluate.
Mama taught me to pray in difficult times.
I need Him, I don’t pray no more, I can’t pray.
How many sins? I’m running out.
Too many sins. I lost count.
If today was the rapture, I’ll completely be wiped out.
Trapped my mind trying to free the body.
Buckle up.
Let me take you on a trip down memory lane.
The eyes had to be opened, I sought after the fruit.
Needed my vision transformed to optimal prime.
Finding that tree took me deeper into the grove.
Soon became lost.
Just because I’m lost doesn’t mean I’ll stop.
Further I thrust myself into the unknown.
No consideration for safety and knowing not what I would encounter.
Deep in the orchard was when I first saw him.
Fiend was his name.
Told him of my predicament.
He took an instant liking to me and asked if he could be my guide in this world.
“Why not”.
Fiend grew up here.
Knows every route and path, each tree and it’s fruit.
My new friend Fiend said I wasn’t the first nor will I be the last to seek the great ophthalmologist.
Was a bit gutted to find out millions came before me.
Selfish ambitions.
We walked and talked; talked and talked.
Then he stops and points, I go towards it.
Fiend would come no further.
Natives can’t go to the tree claims Fiend, the owner put a hex on it.
“Why this tree Fiend?” I asked.
“It isn’t relevant, it’s all a bit technical, the tree is all yours”.
I’m no native, I take a tentative step forward.
This is it.
I take a deep breath and then another.
I Pluck the fruit, sink my teeth into…Heavenly!!!
I’m high.
The sky’s the limit, I’m on cloud nine.
Before long man has downed three of them.
Fiend??
He’s gone, I try looking for him, no avail.
Been a while but my vision still hasn’t changed.
I might be naked!
I Take a look over my body, cross nudity off.
Disappointment.
It’s getting dark, I decide to rest for the night.
Morning has arrived, something’s not right.
Head is throbbing
The events of the previous day a blur.
I look around and see the sign:
ברוכים הבאים לגת שמנים.
“Welcome to Gethsemane”

Ecclesiastes (Your Journey)

“Don’t let the excitement of youth cause you to forget your creator. Honor Him in your youth before you grow old and say, “Life is not pleasant anymore”(Ecc. 12:1).

How much is your life worth? Is it worth living or is it worth dying for?
All around you everything seems normal. You wake up seeing but not feeling, with the only thing you’re remotely thankful for being your existence. A life of mistakes, regrets and a fading hope. Surely once your candle of hope is snuffed out then what’s the use to living. Like Midas everything you touch changes. Unlike Midas it doesn’t turn to gold. What else is there to do but go through the routines of this numb state. Birds chirping, trees growing, cars honking each other. All around you everything seems normal till you touch something.
Evil Midas!
Your apathy towards the world seems higher than the proposed tower of Babel, you are stuck in the game of life and have already used two lifelines. You phoned your friend, he couldn’t help, time ran out. The audience(world) all gave conflicting answers which confused you the more. What’s your next option? You know your next move but what’s stopping you from using it? You don’t think you have the verve to last the whole race. What if you stumble? Better yet what if you fall but then again what if you fl… Ok so you say you can’t fly. Will He accept you back? You think He’ll get tired of welcoming you back. Scared of fear. You coward!
How similar are you to the seeds that fell among the thorns. The world controls you, trapped in vanity. Institutionalized by money, fame, power, women and drugs. Everyday is a party, each night at the club. You claim to be Christian and truly believe what you say.
You think church is enough but you wasn’t even listening to the sermon. Your mind is wondering, your mind is fishing, your eyes be scanning for fresh meat. How can you fish for meat at church? Your ignorance isn’t bliss, your ignorance is grief. In your mind you are the king, in reality a slave. Mind games I guess. Sin is your guide, the devil your usher. Burn! Hell, that’s the path you’re headed. You think the sun scorches? Just wait.
But now everything seems to be crumbling down and it’s all becoming too much for you, depression knocks on your door, the load she brings is too much for your shoulders. Your blissful ignorance has turned into gloomy reality. Self realization is upon you and you are 6ft under: emotionally.
What’s your life really worth? Is it worth living or is it worth dying for? Life to you has become meaningless so you shun the world and wallow in sorrow. In exiling yourself from all, you see a glimpse of Him approaching your home but that same fear keeps you from inviting Him in. What’s your greatest fear?

“That’s the whole story. Here now is my final conclusion: Fear God and obey his commands, for this is everyone’s duty” (Ecc. 12:13).

Forgiveness, Pride,Letting it go

Let me apologize to begin with. A mate of mine asked for a loan of money and I gave it without hesitation given that he promised to pay me back in a weeks time. Payment is due and he starts giving excuses and just refunds a third of what I loaned out to him until he gets the rest. Now I don’t mind at first, he’s my dude and I’m not really in need of the money but another week goes by and I hear nothing from my guy. At least tell me what the delay in payment is? But he ignores me and I do same. We continue to hang and occasionally when I ask about the money he has an excuse to give so I stop asking altogether and decide to move on. But I can’t just move on like that can I? And as the bigger man I claim to be, I forgave him and everything seems casual.
Let me apologize for my behavior once more. I receive a text from him another time asking me for some financial help again. I thought to myself ‘how could he be so thoughtless to come back to ask me for money?’. For someone who claims to have forgiven his comrade this isn’t looking good. I text him back reminding him of the last time he took money from me. Apparently he thinks he settled all his debts and I vehemently refutes his claims, he says he would pay me what I say he owes – can u believe this guy? What I say he owes – in addition to what he’s asking for presently. Now since I claimed to forgive him I said he shouldn’t worry about the last time ( Ikr..why did I bring it up then?) and come for the the money. Hahaha… You guessed wrong, he paid me in full the following day much to my surprise/ disgrace.
Isn’t that how we all live our lives? Finding it difficult to forgive when we claimed to have been wronged by our fellows. Sometimes we truly believe we’ve forgiven those who wrong us but at the same time can’t forget what they did to us. Lol..How hypocritical of us, we feel so let down that we possibly couldn’t fully trust that person like how we used to at first. Pride sets in and we start looking for words to justify our actions like ‘what if he/she does it again’ or ‘fool me once, shame on you but fool me twice,shame on me.’ Again how hypocritical of us after we wake up and recite various prayers to God asking him to forgive us our sins but omitting the other aspect of the prayer by asking Him to help us forgive those who we say have wronged us. We all have that pride which pulls us back from fully forgiving and trusting after we’ve been wronged, let’s try to do away with it for if we ask and God forgives us who are we to even say we are forgiving others how much more doing it halfway. It is my prayer that we put pride aside and live in harmony with one another, for if you can’t fully forgive someone who is with you today how can we ask forgiveness from the God we do not see yet claim to believe in? Where’s the faith in that. I hope my apology is accepted.

Dreams, Visions, Aspirations

I woke up this morning forgetting what I dreamt of last night. But this is not a story about my night fantasies.
We all have our dreams, not our songs to sing unfortunately. Ever question what brought about your dream? Could it be based on fear since most our ambitions are anti failure related. But then again who wants to be a failure? How do we determine failure of others if we all are different in what we bring to the table of life? I guess only God could judge us huh? Ah…well I think u got me, who am I fooling here. We become numb to our thoughts of dreams…are we sure we could achieve what we dream to be or are we just dreaming cos everybody should dream? We wake up, put on our clothes and get on living our lives.

Do we chase our visions with each passing day or we just go along with the status quo. Dreamt of being a marine engineer when I was a kid cos that was my dad’s profession and I looked up to him. Fast forward 15 years and my aspirations have completely shifted to being peaceful in life. Don’t judge me in those courtroom brains of yours where you sit high and mighty in your judgement seats with no jury to rule but yourselves. I guess growing up and seeing things influenced my change of dream. So after your hopes become reality wats next for you? How do we juggle success and all the baggage that comes with it? Or are we not even thinking that far? Feeling like jigga right now…this is some visionary ish. Asked mom what her dreams were as a kid and she said she couldn’t really remember them. Hmm..strange…so what changed? Ain’t that why we came here?….if not why do we bother.

Dreams are often juxtaposed to wishful thinking which are usually just as attainable as meeting a mirage..but some do achieve their dreams. Jesus Christ came to the world with a dream that through him we may be closer to the Father than never before. God created the world with a dream that man and God may live in close relationship..then man ate from the forbidden fruit and got loose, thus the son of man’s incarnate form on earth to rewrite man’s wrongs. At the end of it all Jesus achieved his hope. What message am I putting across to us? I dunno…well you be the judge of that. May the best of our today’s be the worst of our tomorrow’s. Let’s think that far.

Modern Christianity: Worship against Demand

Wow!! I’m even surprised as to why I would want to put up a new post after I just did so recently, and given my history of writing at least once a month I’m sure you could relate. But after this morning’s discussion with my dad I felt obliged to try  and put up something. Before God said those words, “Let there be light”, He had my life already planned, so I’m certain he knew this moment would come when I sit and figure out what to write and how to execute it to perfection. Oh..Do not worry there God I won’t disappoint…not that this comes as a surprise to you, but I would still like to state it for the record …yes I know: everything I say would be held against me. From the beginning of time… NO WAIT!!… Waaay before there was something like time…CUT!!… TAKE THREE…ACTION Even before that moment we see in the first two verses of Genesis chapter 1, your plan was always to create mankind in your own image. So I say “What is the image of God?” Is it physical? Spiritual? Or just one of those deep things we’ll just have to wait to ask when we meet in Heaven? I’m thinking about it and none of my theories are really convincing…Then my dad speaks “We are all created in the image of God means once we are conceived on this earth we are a blessing and lack nothing we truly desire. It’s all about you the individual.” So I’m slowly accepting his analogy when he adds “Our only job is to worship God…yet all we do is demand from Him. Why ask what you already have.” Everything around me becomes a blur as we drive at about 80km. but I do not think it’s the speeding that makes everything ghost pass me, I guess my mind was racing almost as if to overtake the our car. What has happened to us so called Christians to think we could demand anything from God? Who do we think we are? Is this where we’ve reached as humans? My dad is saying something in the background; I can’t make out what he’s saying, I can only hear his voice all muffled up and I decide to tune him out. Not now dad I need to think. Why do I need to demand from God when all I need is to claim what is mine…why do some understand this and others don’t? If we were all created in God’s image how come some are successful and others not? God’s freedom is so underrated that sometimes I do not even consider it a gift. He’s given us the chance to shape our own destiny ourselves with the wise using Him as their foundation. Is it as easy as it sounds? Well let me use my brother’s favorite term: “it’s never that deep”. “All you have to do is worship Him and everything we desire follows suit. Why worry when you cannot tap the source of your worry? Why let worry dampen your spirit. Rihanna says “shine bright like a diamond”. Well I think that’s good enough but why shine bright like a diamond if there’s something brighter than a diamond? So after all the mercies God has bestowed on mankind, He sent His own son to come down on earth to not only pay for our sins but to teach us how to live life to our fullest. Yes I’m still in my thinking cap. Modernization has come up and eaten everything including Christianity, where we think all we need to do is fight for our blessings when in fact we are our blessings. Why cry when you can smile? Why worry when you can be thankful? Why complain when you could worship? Why demand from God what is with you? Why settle for good when you could be great? Why be king when you could be a god? DELAAAANYOOO!!!!……AAAH MAN that’s my dad taking me out of my trance. We’ve reached our destination.

The Good Thief?

The other, however, rebuking him, said in reply, “Have you no fear of God, for you are subject to the same condemnation? And indeed, we have been condemned justly, for the sentence we received corresponds to our crimes, but this man has done nothing criminal.” Then he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.” He replied to him, “Amen I say to you today you will be with me in Paradise.”

So I wanted to talk about a story that has obsessed me for quite some time now. Reason for my obsession is that the story seems so simple and the message behind certain. About some 2000 years ago when Jesus was sentenced to death by crucifixion, he was flanked by two criminals also condemned to die. Now, one of those thieves mocked Jesus while the other(often referred to as the ‘good/pertinent thief’) rebuked his brother and asked for eternal life to which Jesus promised after his request. I always understated the importance of this story because i thought the ‘good thief’ had hit the jackpot-all he had to do was ask Jesus for eternal life-with his timing which always made me jealous and think that this guy had it easy.
But upon reviewing the story again I sat up and noticed that this was no ordinary story because there were so many unanswered questions and so little by way of disclosure. First thing I noticed was that, of the four gospels only St. Luke reports this event. When reading the gospels we notice that the main stories are written across the other books, maybe with some slight differences but the message is the same. So I find it strange that the last act of power and glory Jesus shows before he dies was not well documented in the other gospels. Anyway that was just a ‘by the way’.
Now reading this short story again you tend to realize that this thief was no ordinary man himself given his knowledge of Christ(he talks about the fear of God, Jesus’ kingdom) . Then the next question hits. ‘Who was he then? The only credible information we get from the Bible is that this man was a criminal who was given the death penalty. Research tells us that the punishment of Roman crucifixion was chiefly inflicted on slaves and the worst kind of criminals. Crucifixion was considered a most shameful and disgraceful way to die and condemned Roman citizens were usually exempt from this form of death. This information gives us an idea of the kind of criminal the man is, which was not a common ‘thief’ like we think. I guess if he were in our era, you could think of him as a serial killer, terrorist, or the worst possible criminal description.
Once I understood the type of criminal this was, my mind became very clear which made me see the messages behind the story. I say messages because we are led to believe that this story has mainly one  true message – once we confess our sins unto Him, He will forgive us and cleanse us from our unrighteousness – which isn’t the case at all because the guy never even really confessed his sins. Let’s come back to the mystery criminal. How does a hardened criminal know so much about God? The man knew Jesus and believed in Him, that much is clear in his speech.
Now shall we take our minds back to the parable of the sower thought by Jesus himself and try to see the whole picture and where our ‘good thief’ fits with this teaching? Jesus talks about a farmer sowing his seed with the seeds falling on different locations and how the seeds fared in each environment. Bar the seeds that fell on good soil, our man is in relation to any of the other seeds. Jesus was not new to him hence rebuking his companion and stating the innocence of Jesus.
Before writing this post I wanted to write about Jay Z’s verse in the song ‘no church in the wild’ because it is a very interesting song which questions our religious structures. The most intriguing part is Jay’s verse where he says:
‘I’m wonderin’ if a thug’s prayers reach
Is Pious pious cause God loves pious?’
Taking the content from a piece written on this song by http://wabashcollegetheory2013.wordpress.com/ it says:
 Jay Z poses the difficult question whose answer eludes many of the most learned theologians: Does God look on the damned with the same love and care that he looks upon the pious with? Jay Z ponders the fate of the prayer sent forth by a man who society deems evil. Does that man have any less attention from God, despite the fact that he has been rejected by societal acceptance? Now let’s correspond this to our story on the pertinent thief and see how the glory of God works.
As i said this story has many lessons to it not just forgiveness. It talks of belief, faith, compassion, and how God never ever leaves us even at our lowliest point.Amen.