Faith by Belief: A Cry For Help

It’s been long since I last put something up… Well, two days I think, I’ve been a little consistent this week given my previous lazy attitude towards writing(yeah..I know, why did I create a blog then?). I recently find myself in a bit of a pickle faith wise. Life is full of challenges and how we deal or not deal with such tests defines us as human beings. I am writing this to not express the strength of my faith but rather my lack of it.
Sometimes when I hear stories regarding faith it seems so simple to achieve yet it’s not that easy and yet it is. What on earth am I saying here. Forgive my babbling, but I guess what I’m trying to put across is that the higher we go in life the higher the problems we face and as such the higher our level of faith. Hebrews 11 describes faith as being sure of what one hopes for and certain of what is unseen. A further read of the whole chapter guides us through faith as a verb and how each person who practiced this was rewarded accordingly. Which is where I find most important ‘according to their faith’, this tells us that faith is based on the individual who practices it and as such the more you believe the more you be rewarded.
So as I was saying, my faith has somewhat diminished these past days. Reason for this? Only one thing that hinders our faith. Fear. That feeling of ‘what if’ has been playing on my mind throughout when I needn’t entertain it but for some reason I can’t completely banish it from my subconscious, it’s always lurking somewhere inside waiting for the moment of faith and then it pops out to cripple my belief. It’s like Jay Z raps about in Forever Young: hoping for the best yet expecting the worst. That tiny bit of doubt is pulling me back from achieving what it is I want. Prayer becomes a session of questioning and doubting God, thankfulness becomes worry and joy turns to sorrow.
That’s where I find my self at the moment. But then again i know this is just a short phase which I’ll put an end to with the last full stop of this post. What doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger.